09 The Call to Holiness

🔥 Your tongue shapes the atmosphere around you.

Paul and Shelby, servants of Jesus Christ, reflecting on the quiet work of God.

To all who long for a life free from noise, confusion, and the weight of distraction—grace to you, and peace.

When we became parents, life did not become quieter. It became louder — with crying, dishes, homeschooling, sleepless nights, and the daily weight of responsibility. Yet in the middle of this season, the Lord taught us something unexpected: stillness has almost nothing to do with the volume around you. It is the condition of the heart that trusts instead of striving. As the Psalmist says, “Be still and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10).

The Lord began showing us that the noise disturbing our peace was not our children. It was the noise inside—words, thoughts, and agreements that did not belong to Him. And in this season, He didn’t first teach us to quiet the home; He taught us to quiet the tongue.

Jesus says something that penetrates deeper the more you meditate on it: “It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth” (Matt. 15:11). James calls the tongue “a fire” that can bless God one moment and curse people the next — and says plainly, “My brothers, this should not be so” (James 3:6–10).

We discovered how true this is. Before the Lord refined us in this area, we spoke casually, unaware of how much spiritual agreement was hidden in our words. We would say things like “This is killing me,” “I’m dying laughing,” “I’m getting sick,” or “The kids are driving me crazy.” We didn’t think of these as anything more than expressions. But they were forming the climate of our home. They were agreeing with fear, frustration, weakness, or death rather than with Christ, who conquered all those things. Scripture says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21). What we spoke was becoming what we lived.

But the Lord didn’t just purify our words; He purified the thoughts beneath them. One of the greatest freedoms He gave us was understanding that most thoughts are not sin — they are temptation. Sin begins not when a thought enters the mind, but when the heart agrees with it. Jesus Himself was tempted externally yet without sin (Matt. 4:1–11). That truth freed us. A fearful thought isn’t sin. A dark or intrusive thought isn’t sin. A lustful or blasphemous thought that flashes through the mind isn’t sin. Sin begins only when we embrace it, speak it, or partner with it. This discernment changed our entire inner life.

As the Lord taught us to reject thoughts that did not come from Him, He also taught us to shut down speech that did not represent Him. We began repenting of complaining, sarcasm, idle words, fear-filled statements, and agreements with sickness or defeat. We repented for the times our tone or frustration did not reflect the love of the Father. And slowly our home began to change—not by removing noise, but by removing the words that grieved the Holy Spirit.

Something supernatural happened as our speech came into obedience to Christ. Peace increased. Strife decreased. Confusion lifted. Fear lost its place. Hope returned. Our home began feeling like a place set apart. Our home began feeling like a place set apart.

What we learned is simple, but it has taken years to walk out: holiness is not silence. Holiness is surrender. It is letting God govern the mind. It is letting Jesus govern the tongue. It is trusting Him to carry what you cannot. It is speaking with grace even when the house is loud and the day is long. Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). St. Paul urged believers, “Let your speech always be with grace” (Col. 4:6). And when our speech changes, our hearts follow.

As our home got louder with children, our inner lives grew quieter before God. That is the stillness He gave us: not the absence of noise, but the absence of striving. Not perfection, but complete surrender. Not silence, but perfect peace.

God-willing, we will write again soon.